Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize