3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
