I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
