she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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