We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
