yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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