Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
