Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My liver just broke up with me...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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