Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
