jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My cat gives me a boner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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