Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
