As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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