Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
