I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
