i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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