The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
