You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
