if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize