Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
