Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
