I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
two words: eviction party
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How naked do you want me to be?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize