this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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