Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
