You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
