I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
