accomplished twins. life is a go
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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