Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I need to calm my uterus...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
