What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
nutella sex= disaster
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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