I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
