Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
