pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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