i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
