Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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