This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
