worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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