So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
