bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You pole danced in your parka.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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