My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
