Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize