As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
