okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
