i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
