Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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