He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
its not stalking. its research.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
