i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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