she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Alive.
So much puke
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
