Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize