Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Operation Purity has been aborted
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize