Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
