is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
