I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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