dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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