i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
