I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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