think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
