dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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