2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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