just tell him i said nine months
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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