I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize