he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't deserve a penis
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
