i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
