i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
