your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize