Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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