I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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